>Complaint

>My Lord!
The Creator of the Universe.

Tonight,
My sleep has been hijacked
By troubling thoughts
So,
Here I am
In complaint

My Creator.
You are a Witness
That I do not worship anyone
But You
You are also a Witness
to my dedication
and
Love
for Your Messenger and his family.

My Lord!
I will not dare to complain about creating me.
But my Lord, what wrong did my soul commit
so that I be deprived from meeting Your great messenger?!

What sin did I commit, so that I would be banned from talking to him?
Am I that bad, that I am barred from learning directly from him?
Am I that awful, that I had to be imprisoned in this timeline?
Only reading contradictory texts about him, here and there.
Listening about him in lectures, here and there.

While the companions would just walk up to him and talk away.

What a pain You have inflicted me.
Every problem
has a solution.
Every pain
has a cure.
Every agony
has an end.

But not this one
This one has no solution or cure or an end
My Lord!

Help me!

This pain of separation from the presence of Your greatest Mercy
This pain of distance from Your greatest creation
Will follow me to the grave.

What a tough luck!

The trees,
the birds,
the horses,
the camels
and even the dust of Medina
were more blessed than me
by having the great honor
of serving the Prophet directly

I would give up my life and anything that I value
For one moment, a fraction of a second, a flash of a sight
To see, to visit, to offer direct “salaams” upon him
Not in dreamland
Not in hereafter
But here, in this world

Your wisdom decided that
I stay in agony of separation from the ones I love.
Your wisdom dictates that
I be stuck here away from
Muhammad and his family
(countless peace and greatest salute upon them).

This complaint is not my fault.
Is it my fault that You have seeded the Love for them in my heart?
Is it my fault that I was born 1400 years later?
Is it my fault that no one understands this pain of mine?

Here they were, Ammar, Abu Zar, Bilal, Jabir, Salmaan, and so many others
Even Owais, who got a chance to at least walk on the same soil as the Prophet

Here I am, surrounded by my sins, pathetic weak faith,
Large number of talkers
Small number of doers

And a never-ending pain.

Just a complaint,
My Lord,
That I can never
For once
meet
The Great Mercy to Mankind
In person
in this world.

You are the most Wise.
I just shed tears
submit to this destiny
be grateful
That at least, You have illuminated my heart
By the Light of their love.

You are the most wise.
I submit to the destiny You have written for me.
But in tears of separation
it is
that I do so.

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